


We Met at the Coffee Shop Across the Street

by BlueFrost



Series: College!AU, but just not the one where they're students [1]
Category: RWBY
Genre: Coffee Shops, F/M, M/M, Modern AU, University AU, ayyyyyyeee represent my own field, but then again i dont know where this fic is going, geographically everything's the same as you would see in WOR, hes just the department head, i think most of the adults (like the adult-adults) are going to be department heads, ill stop now, its just everyone is normal with no semblance or magic or aura, ozpin isn't the headmaster, qrow is a psychology professor, so i guess its a
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-09-30 10:23:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17222207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueFrost/pseuds/BlueFrost
Summary: Qrow Branwen is back in Patch for a psychology convention at the university where he used to teach. There, he runs into former fellow professor Ozpin Pine, impulsively asks him out to a coffee date, and finds out about all of Ozpin's attempts to take him on a date before he left for Vale.So maybe it's time for them to try again.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I just want to let anyone who reads this know that this fic won't have any villains, villain-y antagonist, or anything like that. We have enough of them in canon and I don't think I could do anyone any justice.
> 
> Plus I just don't think I'm ready for anything like that yet.

The first thing Qrow does after running into Ozpin after six years of dropping out of the face of the world is ask him out. On a date. The next thing he did was panic and rescind his own offer because why should Ozpin go on a date with him. He cut him out of his life for six years and owes Qrow nothing. Maybe they should just go hang out and reconnect.

Ozpin laughed at him. Because of course.

But…he wasn’t laughing at him. Well, he probably was laughing at him, but he probably was laughing _with_ – yeah okay that sounds less likely.

Either way no matter how Qrow interpreted the laugh, Ozpin was nodding his head quite enthusiastically, saying that they should start with something small and go for a coffee date instead.

And here Qrow was: sitting across from Ozpin at a small, round table at the front window of the little coffee shop near the university Ozpin was a department head at. There was a Starbucks ™ across the street and this little mom and pop shop was really only open because of all the faculty members and students that stopped by.

Ozpin was chattering away about what Qrow missed out on in the isolated town of theirs since he had left with Taiyang and the girls. He had become the head of the social work department while Glynda was the head of the chemistry department. She was also engaged to James Ironwood –

“What?” Qrow blinked. That brought him back to the present. “Since when were they a thing?”

“About two years after you left, I think.” Ozpin ripped his cheese croissant in half, then tore that half into half as well. “I know that they had been making eyes at one another for a while before that –”

“Entire town knew that. I just didn’t think James grew enough balls to ask Glynda out.”

“Or that Glynda would stop giving him a hard time to actually let him get a word in about his feelings?”

“Exactly.”

Qrow shrugged. “Well I’m happy for them. Finally getting their heads out of their asses.”

Ozpin snorted into his hot chocolate before taking a sip. Qrow cocked an eyebrow.

“The hell was that about?”

Ozpin rolled his eyes. “You, of all people, are in no position to give someone a hard time about their head in in their ass.”

“I don’t know what you’re –”

“For example,” Ozpin set his cup down, “about a few years before you left, you blatantly ignored every single small date offer I threw your way.”

“What!?” No, people were not looking at him. And even if they were, did Qrow give a shit? “Bullshit! I don’t believe you.”

“Glynda and I spoke often about it and we concluded that you believed that I would never give you the time of day? Or perhaps the time I asked you to go see that new indie film that came out at the time and you ended up bringing Taiyang because you wanted him to hang out with friends.”

“Tryst in the mist?”

“That very same.”

“That was a date?”

Ozpin sighed, leaned back against his chair and rubbed at his eyes. Qrow eyes were locked on the torn-up croissants. What the fuck? No, there was no fucking way. All of those “dates” weren’t dates. And even if they might have been, Ozpin was probably just humouring him! Right?? Maybe he was just trying to get to know him?

...after they spent almost every day together and had actually TA'd together when they were both still in undergrad.

Yeah. Nevermind.

“It seems as though you’re not done with your crisis.” Ozpin dipped a piece of his croissant into his drink. “The fact that you even asked me here today was the most shocking experience of my life. I didn’t think you would _ever_ ‘grow the balls’ to do so.”

Qrow dragged his hands down his face. “Please stop, I can’t believe that I wasted so much time freaking out over this.”

The fact that Ozpin’s gaze (and smug little smile) dropped brought Qrow back to their little…date. “I don’t think it would have ended well, however. It’s why I was eager to come today, I was willing to take what I could get with you.” Ozpin twisted the corner of his napkin. “You…had to go. Taiyang and the kids needed you. And from what I heard, another university wanted to add you to their faculty roster. So much more was happening to you across the country. You had no obligation to me.”

“I would have if I had known you felt the same way.”

“Like an obligation?”

“Hey, your words not mine – but you know what I meant. If I had known –”

“But your family still needed you.”

Well, that was true. The two men fell silent for a while after that. Ozpin ended up finishing everything on his little plate. Qrow’s own drink and pastry was untouched.

Eventually, Qrow spoke up. “You could’ve been a part of that.”

“Your family?” Ozpin sounded confused.

Qrow fumbled for words. That was quite the confession and no matter how they both felt, six years was still a long time to spend apart with no contact whatsoever. “…Yeah? But, I guess you have your own life here.” Qrow felt his throat tighten. “It would’ve been unfair to ask you to uproot everything. And it would have been unfair to both of us to start something only for me to rip up everything…like that poor croissant of yours.”

That got a laugh out of the other man. However small.

“Well, how long do I have you for?”

“Just three more days. Just until the convention ends.”

“So, that’s three more days to see how this turns out?”

Qrow finally lifted his gaze to meet Ozpin’s own brown eyes. He looked nervous. Hell, Qrow was nervous. They should’ve gotten over each other in the past six years of making lives without each other. But seeing each other lit a spark in both men. As cliché, corny, ridiculous, _whatever_ , as everything sounded a temporary thing sounded nice.

“And if we do want to continue this after I move back across the country?”

“We’re both adults, Qrow.” Ozpin finally drained his drink. “I think we know what our limits are if we decide to continue with a long-distance relationship.”

And there it was. Ozpin sounded so sure of himself. Qrow was sure that he wanted to make something with Ozpin, but he was afraid that they would fall away while they couldn’t physically be together. There were too many variables and too many possibilities that could cause irreparable damage.

But Ozpin was right. They were adults and adults talked things through. They actually communicated with each other. Ozpin was the type of person who planned his life out.

“Well, your plans always tend to work out, right?”

Ozpin groaned softly before rolled his eyes. Man, all this sass coming out of Ozpin was amazing. “Apparently not all of them since I couldn’t successfully make you understand that all of our one-on-one outings were supposed to be dates. Honestly, you were so difficult to get through to.”

“I always thought you were into that neighbour of yours!”

“I beg your pardon? Salem?”

“Ozpin?”

Qrow and Ozpin started and turned towards the front door, where Salem stood. Dressed in her usual black dress and overcoat.

“Son of a bitch.” Ozpin slid down his seat and Qrow burst out laughing as he waved Salem over.

“Hey Salem! Long time no see. We were just talking about how I thought you and Oz had a thing for each other.”

“Qrow. Stop. I beg you.”

Salem laughed. Actually laughed and Ozpin felt like the world was ending. “That’s ridiculous. This man has had a torch for you for as long as you had been teaching with us.”

“Please stop.”

“That fucking long?”

“That is still not as bad as not understanding that I was trying to take you on a date.”

“So this date right now is a dream come true for you or what?”

“Qrow so help me I will walk out of here.”

“And miss out on all of this?”

"For the sake of my pride, yes."

“This convention is going to be the best weekend of my life.”


	2. Chapter 2

If Ozpin was being honest with himself, he would say that going on an actual date that night with Qrow was the happiest he has been in a few months (This isn’t to count helping James plan the proposal).

That was if he was being completely honest.

Truthfully, he was terrified. After six years, he had thought that seeing Qrow again would be easy; his heart wouldn’t flutter as much – and no those weren’t heart palpitations like Glynda had teased him for – and he wouldn’t give in to whatever Qrow suggested at the drop of a hat.

He had moved on from Qrow Branwen.

Of course that meant that as soon as Qrow stammered out a get-together invite to the coffee shop they had frequented when Qrow still taught at Patch, Ozpin burst out laughing. How could he have not realised that he would never get over his feelings for Qrow? And most especially that Qrow never realised that he did in fact hold a very special place in Ozpin’s heart?

How were they unaware of any of this?

To add to everything that was happening that weekend, he even suggested that they go to the fair that night. Qrow’s face lit up at the thought of finally going on a proper date with Ozpin.

So, later that afternoon, Ozpin had Glynda on speakerphone while he ran around his room in an attempt to find something to wear. Not that he didn’t own clothes that weren’t up to par. Ozpin was humble about many things, but his clothing style was never one of them.

Glynda snorted into the phone. Ozpin shot it a dark look.

“ _Oz, you own a green pea coat –_ “

Ozpin’s hand froze where it was reaching for said pea coat. Damn it Glynda. “It’s _emerald_.”

“ _Nobody owns a green pea coat._ ”

“I do.”

“ _I can’t even begin to count how many green turtlenecks sweaters you have._ ”

“Glynda please.”

Does Qrow think he wears too much green?

“ _I agree that you dress well, but if your wardrobe actually had colour variety to it I would be inclined to say that you are the most stylish person I know._ ”

“I have shades of browns and greys!”

Besides, if Qrow could see past all of his _emerald_ clothing, then he must be doing something right.

“ _More specifically, you have two articles of clothing for each of those. Ozpin, buy some new clothes._ ”

“I have black pants.”

“ _Slacks, Ozpin. Buy a few jeans. I’m sure Qrow would appreciate that._ ”

“How does any of this help me _now_?”

“ _You have to wear something that tells Qrow that you want to look good for him. Something to show that you appreciate being with him._ ”

“I do not understand how dressing…attractively…does anything you have mentioned.”

Glynda’s sigh was far too audible through the phone; Ozpin could see her dragging a hand down her face in exasperation. “ _It’s just how Qrow has been and how he will always be. This early in a relationship is where you must show your significant other what a treat you can be._ ”

“Are you telling me that I should be Qrow’s eye candy? I’m hardly young enough for that now.”

The 4 PM alarm on Ozpin’s phone sounded, letting him know that he should get going if he wants to meet Qrow in time for their date at the fair. Ozpin’s stomach dropped. No matter how tired or bedraggled Qrow was, he always managed to dress flawlessly. In ways that accentuated his body and there was no way Ozpin could imitate that.

“I have to go, Glynda. I am meeting Qrow in thirty minutes.”

“ _Oz, for god’s sake don’t wear that fucking argyle sweater it makes you look like a –_ “

Ozpin let out a sigh that seemed to take all the air out of his body. He can do this. Qrow apparently has had an eye on him for a while, so dressing how he always has should work out in his favour.

...but he probably should dress as though he was there to “cut loose”. So to speak.

 

#

Ozpin was standing near the largest entrance into the fair, where he and Qrow agreed to meet so that it would be easier to find one another. He didn’t think that Qrow would be arrived via mini-van, six young adults and another professor in the car with him.

“Hey, I wanted my students to have a bit of down time before their big presentation tomorrow.” Qrow said by way of greeting when he reached Ozpin. “Thought it would be best to get it out of their heads. They’ve been practising hard for a month before we came here, so they just need to relax.”

“You have quite the dedicated group with you.”

“I can only work with people who actually want to be here. And they worked hard to earn their place in this year’s presentations.”

Ozpin paused at that. Sure, he knew how dedicated Qrow is and how he supported people he knew deserved it. It was just that he was much more of a mother hen that he used to be.

“Dr. Branwen?” A girl with long brown hair and…a bunny ears headband…

“What’s up Rabbit Girl?”

“Is this Dr. Pine?”

“Oh yeah!” Another girl – why was she wearing sunglasses at night? – stepped up beside the first girl. “He the guy your nieces keep gushing about?”

_What?_

“They don’t _gush_ about anyone.” Ozpin could see the red tint Qrow’s cheek. It was faint, but it was there. “We used to teach at the same department.”

“And apparently used to be neighbours?” Sunglasses chimed in with a cheeky grin.

“Oh, how are Yang and Ruby?” It was cute seeing Qrow get flustered, but the faster his students went off to have their fun, the sooner he could have Qrow to himself. Derailing the conversation should do the trick.

“They’ve gotten so big.” Qrow seemed to perk up. “Yang’s been kicking butt in all of her youth MMA competitions and doing well in school. Ruby’s picked up archery and colour-guard and she’s starting college next fall.”

“I remember how they used to run across the street whenever they thought both you and Taiyang were going to be late at work.”

“They only loved you babysitting them because they had no bedtime with you.”

“Of course they had a bedtime.” Ozpin feigned offense.

“Hopping them up on sugar and letting them tear apart your house did not count as tucking them in.”

“But it worked wonders.”

Qrow groaned. “You are why Ruby has a high sugar tolerance.”

“Are we going to go to this fair or not?”

The two men hadn’t realised that the students left them minutes ago, knowing that they would be content in their bickering.

 

#

 

The look in Qrow’s eyes was nothing short of childish wonder as they tried to find which attractions they wanted to jump into first. There was the standard noodle stall, goldfish stall, shooting range, ring toss, (a bowling alley?), and –

“Holy shit,” Qrow exclaimed at the sight of three large bounce houses. “When did Patch’s fair get this cool?

“This is one attraction they added in last year.” A weight dropped in his stomach when Qrow practically skipped towards the bounce houses. He looked up at the towering things. They sat at the edge of the fairgrounds, set up in a way that almost formed a semi-circle. The one on the left had a jungle theme to it, with vines climbing up the side and inflated brown balloons meant to mimic branches on the sides were people could climb up. The one in the middle was made to look like a sinking ship. And the one on the right was the most plain of all. All three bounce houses had large slides in the middle, where piles of kids and teenager met as they fell. “Qrow maybe we should try something less…chaotic.”

Qrow had already walked back to him and tied a wristband around his left wrist. “This is for all of the rides! I got us day passes.” Then he ran to the lockers so that he could take off his shoes. Ozpin followed him, making a face when the other man looked back at him and gave him a piece of paper that had a combination for the locker. “Get your shoes off and let’s climb this thing, old man!”

Ozpin let out a long-suffering sigh. “Qrow please. This isn’t what I had in mind.” Oh gods, he did not need to know that that was what Qrow looked like heartbroken. It was just a bounce house. They could find something just as exciting, right?

“Just this one bounce house, Oz?”

Ozpin held his gaze before walking away. Qrow would be lying if he said that something in him didn’t die that night. Maybe Ozpin was just going to hold their stuff while he had a bit of fun?

Qrow was not pouting when he aggressively climbed up the side of the sinking ship bounce house and he most definitely wasn’t pouting when he bounce-slid his way down the slide. At the base of the bounce house there was still no sign of Ozpin –

Qrow actually flew a few feet the with the force of whatever hit him. He turned around and there was Ozpin: no jacket, no scarf, and no shoes but plenty flustered.

“Qrow I am so sorry. I just wanted to catch up to you as fast as I could.”

 

#

 

It wasn’t that he never had fun, it was just that no one had really seen Ozpin act the way he was right now: dragging Qrow down by the ankle on a giant inflatable slide. Ozpin then pulled Qrow closer to him so that he could reach back and blind Qrow with the hood of his own jacket.

A squawk could be heard from Qrow as he struggled with the drawstrings of his hood and Ozpin gained the lead as he was already halfway up the bounce house.

“When you said that Ozpin was finally going on a date with Qrow, this was not what I had in mind.” James said when Glynda returned with two cups of hot chocolate.

“To be fair I don’t think Ozpin had this in mind either.”

“Are you sure about that?”

The two looked back at the men now struggling at the base of the bounce house, a few kids cheering them on and other teenagers recording the scene on their phones.

Glynda shrugged and pulled out her phone as well. “Those kids have the right idea. I can’t let him pretend this never happened.”

The fair wouldn’t end for another six hours. She was sure that this would not be the first scene those two would cause.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I didn't think people would actually like my 4 AM brain child, but I appreciate everything all the same <3


	3. Chapter 3

Ozpin was waiting…in the middle of everything. To be honest, he had no idea what to do while he waited for Qrow to returned with their hot drinks. He just made an embarrassment of himself at the bounce houses and now here he is still pretending to be the most dignified person on the planet.

When Salem hears about that his life is over. She would tease him until the end of time.

So, there he was fiddling with the hem of his pea coat when Qrow came back with two Styrofoam cups. The shorter man’s scarf was coming undone and so he walked over while leaning to one side, as if that would save his scarf.

“Here, let me help.” Ozpin wound the clothe lightly around Qrow’s neck, tucking the end high up near his face so only his eyes peeked out. “Warm?”

Qrow blinked at him before a muffled “sure” could be heard.

Ozpin held back the grin that fought to show and took the cup Qrow was offering him. “Thank you, Qrow. Now, let’s go on a proper date?”

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding. That bounce house was part of the ‘proper’ date. The rest of the night is going to be a continuation of a ‘proper’ date.”

“But what about –”

“We’ve known each other for years now!”

“Not the last six years, Qrow.”

Wrong topic to bring up, seeing as Qrow paused mid-step with the most guilt-ridden expression Ozpin knees nearly buckled. This was not what he had in mind and Qrow shouldn’t have to feel bad for something that needed to be done.

However, Qrow’s reaction was so short-lived that he soon cocked an eyebrow and managed to make sipping his drink look sarcastic. “Exactly how much do you think I’ve changed?”

“…you’re not an alcoholic anymore?”

“Incorrect! I still like drinking.”

“But you don’t exactly drink to forget.”

“Everyone does something to forget things. You probably still like making macaroni art of cows then wrecking it to bits.”

Ozpin floundered for a comeback, avoiding eye contact as he tried to grasp for a retort. Qrow shook his head and stumbled back, breathless from silent laughter and his dumb, dumb smugness. He ought to wipe that look off Qrow’s face.

Instead, Ozpin hooked his arm through Qrow’s and walked the still laughing man through the crowd so that they could go to one of the fair’s game booths.

“I guess the big baby still hates cows.”

“I eat burgers because then there is one less cow in the world.”

Qrow laughed harder at the statement. “I don’t get you sometimes.”

Ozpin held back from any more replies, knowing that Qrow always had something that would fluster him. He only sighed and looked around at the stalls while Qrow chuckled to himself every now and then.

It was nice to finally… _be_ with Qrow like this. While he was hardly bashful, he knew he was more reserved than the company he kept. Which might have been why Qrow never caught his hints before.

But that was then and this is now. He would never let an opportunity like this slip away again.

“Oz they have a prize booth!”

“That they do, Qrow. They’re everywhere.” But Ozpin still found himself dragged to the booth with the plastic rifles.

Qrow paid for 20 shots. His targets all varied in shape but what they all had in common was that they were monster-versions of everyday animals. There was a bear in black fur with a white mask and red markings on the mask. There was what appeared to be a fairytale creature called a griffon with the same type of mask. A masked boar. A masked wolf with spikes running down its spine.

And Qrow missed every single one.

The carnie gave them a sympathetic smile. “I could give you another go for half the price.”

Qrow shook his head and took his drink. “Nah, I’m pretty sure I’ll spend too much.”

“Not that I would complain.”

“I didn’t think you would.”

Ozpin watched the carnie smile at Qrow…a bit too fondly.

“Maybe next time.”

“I’d love to see you again.”

And with that, Ozpin dragged Qrow away from the booth with more irritation that he could reason with. Qrow was a good-looking man. Of course other people would flirt with him, that wasn’t his fault.

“There’s a ring toss!”

“Those are pre-designed to guarantee your fail – Qrow get back here!” Ozpin found the same type of monster-creatures at the ring toss booth as well. Except that they were plushies.

“If I don’t bring back something cute for Ruby –”

“How are those cute?”

“—I won’t escape her puppy eyes for a week!”

When the ring toss booth’s carnie handed him the rings, Qrow paused. The rings were so small, no bigger than his palm. “I’m supposed to…what? Make these on the plushies I want to win?”

Ozpin looked on with amusement, slowly sipping his hot chocolate. The carnie shrugged.

“What can I tell ya?” the carnie said. “Game’s a rip-off. But I don’t refund.”

“You’re kidding!”

Ozpin took the rings from Qrow and handed him his drink. “Qrow, take a sip and calm down. It isn’t the nice man’s fault that the game is a complete cheat. That’s just how they make their money. Everyone knows this and yet they still come to these prize booths. It’s not the end of the world.”

“Yeah!” the carnie grinned as Qrow relented and hid what ever curses he was spewing behind his Styrofoam cup. “Besides, it’s really all fun and games. It’s all about the experience!”

Ozpin nodded in agreement and walked around the side of the booth, where he was now seeing the profile of one of the masked wolves. “Yes. Now, I have two rings, correct?” The carnie gestured for Ozpin to take his chance. “Thank you.” The first ring he tossed landed right on one of the wolf’s ears, hanging on precariously as if the game were truly that rigged.

Qrow whooped and nearly spilt his drink.

Carnie was gracious enough to present Ozpin with his prize, and like the good sport he was, the carnie gestured to the last ring sitting on the counter. “You have one more shot. But with thinking like that you ain’t got a problem.”

“Does Yang want anything? Qrow?”

“Not a plushie, I’ll tell you that.”

Ozpin considered the plushies and what he could remember from Yang, or at least how she used to be at seven years old, none of the prizes would catch her attention. He looked back down at the ring, to Qrow then tossed the ring at him, hitting him squarely on the chest.

Qrow dropped his drink and mouth hanging open as Ozpin rushed over picking up the cup with apologies for everything under the sun. The carnie was no help with his cackling. Ozpin used one of the napkins that came with their drinks to dab at the bit of coffee that was beginning to stain Qrow’s shirt.

 

#

 

“I bet you think you’re _so_ smart throwing at ring at me.”

Ozpin lightly nudged Qrow with his shoulder and a small smile. “It was very clever, Qrow. No need to be shy.”

“You still made me drop my drink.”

“It wasn’t as if I knocked your cup out of your hand.”

Qrow pulled Ozpin closer to him as more people crowded behind them in line. “You might as well have. These oreos are your way of making it up to me.”

Ozpin handed over his payment with a roll of his eyes and handed the small plate of deep fried oreos to Qrow. “I don’t understand how anyone can eat those things.”

Qrow snorted and ate an entire oreo in one bite. “How can you eat so many sweets and not like deep fried oreos?”

“There has to be a line on which standards are built Qrow. Deep fried oreos are below that line.”

There had to be a limit on how many oreos Qrow could and was going to shove into his mouth whole, but Ozpin suspected it was going to be something short of choking.

“Don’t you like donuts?”

“Qrow, when have I ever _had_ a donut?”

Qrow polished off his little container of oreos and dumped it in the nearest trashcan. “All I’m getting right now is that you’re being sacrilegious.”

“Those oreos are sacrilegious.” Ozpin he mimed wiping his right cheek at Qrow, who rubbed the wrong cheek clean. Ozpin sighed and pulled out one of the last remaining napkins from his coat pocket and wiped the oreo cream from Qrow’s cheek, ignoring the other’s man whining. “I wouldn’t have to do this for you if you didn’t eat those horrible things.”

“You’re so lame.”

Ozpin pulled back from Qrow and pulled his now clean cheek. “And you _gladly_ agreed to go on this date with me. Maybe you’re were never the cool uncle you thought you were.”

Qrow sputtered and fought Ozpin’s hands off his face. “I _am_ the cool uncle!”

“With those shoes?”

“Excuse me!?”

The squealing pigs from the pen startled Ozpin into nearly dropping what was left of his drink. The pig pen wasn’t too far from where they were standing and there propped on the railing closest to them was a large pig grunting at them. The girl running nearby laughed and scratched the top of the pig’s head.

“Sorry, Sir Oinksalot doesn’t like it when people argue, even if it’s just teasing.” The girl said. She stepped off to the side when Ozpin and Qrow walked up to her pen. “The one right over there by the wall is Lady Swinevere.”

Qrow shook his head. “Wait, what?”

“The little ones are,” The girl pointed to each of the piglets running around, “Boarcival, and Snortahad, and –”

“Hold up, you did not give them puns for names.”

“Oh but we did. And the biggest pig is –”

“Please stop.”

“King Porkthur.”

“Oh my god.”

Ozpin laughed and approached Sir Oinksalot. “He is very big. Are you entering him in a show or is there another event here for the pigs?”

Qrow grunted. “Is it a best bacon contest?”

The amount of jaws dropped that were within earshot belonged to the high school kids who took care of the pigs. Qrow froze up at the attention, then shrugged it off. “You can’t tell me no one here eats bacon. Or sausages, or pepperoni!” He batted Ozpin’s hands off him. He was _not_ about to lose an argument about pigs here!

“It’s etiquette that we don’t talk about how good they taste around them.” The girl was covering Sir Oinksalot’s ears now.

“They can’t understand me.”

“Dear god Qrow,” Ozpin tugged on Qrow’s arm, “let’s just leave.”

 

#

 

The next thirty minutes found Ozpin sitting on a bench with his face buried in his hands, ignoring Qrow’s nonstop insistence that pig’s couldn’t understand human language, and if those kids actually believed that animals could understand human language, then they had a lot more to worry about than just talking about being food.

“I mean, I’m pretty sure some of their pigs get eaten.”

“Qrow that isn’t the point. They try not to have that kind of mindset around their animals. It’s not good as a caretaker.”

“Well!” Qrow threw his hands up over his head, a bit uselessly since he couldn’t do anything about the situation now. “I didn’t think about it like that.”

Ozpin shook his head, “We can’t ever walk by there again, Qrow. I don’t want to have to go through that again. _Please_.”

When Qrow looked down at Ozpin, his knees nearly buckled. The older man was looking up at him, a bit too doe-eyed and pleading.

It was ridiculous, really. The man was used to large conference and presenting at said conferences. But witness a near argument between a grown man and a bunch of teenagers was enough to move him to embarrassment and even begging.

Not that Qrow was going to stop _that_ from happening any time soon but whatever.

Qrow rubbed at the back of his neck as he felt it heat up with the force of his blush. Because damn that was a train of thought he wasn’t ready to explore if Ozpin wasn’t comfortable with that.

The man valued his privacy as much as Qrow loved the girls.

“I’m sorry Oz.” But really he was apologizing for making Ozpin feel desperate enough to actually ask like that. “Let’s get going. There’s a lot more to see around here, right?”

Ozpin laughed behind him as he was dragged along. “No need for you to feel that bad. The whole scenario was just a bit too embarrassing for my taste.”

“Yeah, well, we’re gonna go wall-climbing to get your mind off that. I saw attraction signs for it before we went to get oreos.”

“Wall-climbing? Maybe I can just leave that one to you? How about that?”

The man and woman who were stationed at the wall-climbing attraction gave them a considering look, as if two grown men holding hands and running towards them with one of them looking ecstatic was something they weren’t used to.

Maybe they weren’t.

“He’s the only one climbing.” Ozpin nudged Qrow forward, “I think I’ve had enough excite for one night.”

“You did _one_ thing.”

“And it was a big thing.”

“Did you two at least get a room?” The man leaning against the booth asked, then laughed when Ozpin’s jaw dropped.

“Not on the first date.” Qrow paid them and stepped aside so that he could be geared up. The woman handed him waist harness and as soon as he was secured, the woman clipped the rope’s carabiner to Qrow’s harness and gestured for him to step up to the wall.

“Just let us know when you want to get down.” She said.

Ozpin stepped back as Qrow began to climb. Looking up, he realised that the wall was actually 30 feet tall. Good thing he resolved not to go up. Ozpin pulled out his phone and managed to send a picture to Glynda, followed by a clip of Qrow pressing the buzzer at the top and let out a loud whoop. Ozpin clapped a bit before Qrow began to make his way down… “Are you going to be joining us down here?” Jittery hands pocketed the phone as Qrow and the two wall-climbing employees exchanged glances.

“Hold on.” The man said, “I’ll try to see if it’s just the mechanism not working properly.”

“It’s a simple mechanism, there shouldn’t be much to fix.” The woman reassured Ozpin.

Oh that was good, because the way things were going it seemed as though they might not have a proper and quiet time with each other.

The man came circled back from standing behind the wall, inspecting the rappelling rope and pulley system that they had for their wall attraction. “So we’re going to need a couple of technicians since our mechanism is completely jammed.”

“Qrow what did you do?”

“I just climbed! I didn’t do shit!”

The man tried placating them both as they switched off arguing with each other and apologizing to the employees.

Qrow felt the pulley system shake and latched on to whatever handhold he could confidently hang off of. “Can’t I just climb down?”

“We can’t risk you slipping and falling climbing down by yourself.” The woman responded willing the technicians to arrive as soon as they could.

“Well I don’t think I’m anymore safe up here!”

“Qrow please just be a bit more patient.” Ozpin called out, “The technicians are almost here.” He waved at the two approaching men, as if they weren’t communicating through radio with the two employees present. But maybe it just made him feel better that he did _something_.

He would feel infinitely better if they were actually doing something that didn’t garner so much attention from the public.

But here they were, stuck at a travelling fair’s wall-climbing attraction that was dead when they got there, more than likely dead before they got there, and most definitely dead every year because this thing happened often enough.

…is what Glynda told him when both she and James broke through the crowd after they realised that it was Qrow hanging from the top of the wall.

_Amazing._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I didn't think people would like this!  
> For people still holding out hope, I just had a hard time trying to get back into writing and with work and life, welp...
> 
> Plus I lost my thumb stick, so I freaked out there.
> 
> I'll keep trying to work on it, but please know that I really have no end-goal for this it's just something to have fun with so i hope you will too.
> 
> Oh! Also, constructive criticism is appreciated!


End file.
